Sometimes, this whole “blogging thing” and “sharing personal stuff” business feels crazy insane to me and other times it feels like the most natural thing in the world. And that mixture of feelings doesn’t stop there. It’s hard and I like it and I’m still hoping that one day, the person who needs these words gets them and that it helps their heart relax.
Because this is about reaching out and connecting finding other like-minded people, even if none of us have a right mind between us.
I’ve been teased and made fun of my whole life about how unique I am and Oh Shannon, you are Just Too Much and one-of-a-kind and what a troublemaker I can be and WATCH OUT WORLD, SHANNON IS HERE. And that’s mostly true. Babies aren’t my thing yet because the world is definitely NOT ready for a Shan AND a Shan 2.0, but really, I know I’m not the most special snowflake to ever have snowflaked before.
(I feel like I should check Urban Dictionary before I use snowflake as verb because yikes. Don’t do it, just in case. Don’t ruin the moment.)
So I’m going to babble on about this Opposite Phenomenon and hope that someone out there needs it and needs to be understood and known and to hear that they aren’t a lonely snowflake, either.
I am hard person to define and explain, and thats putting it lightly. In arguments or debates or deep heart talks, I always end up saying the same thing: there are two Shannons in here and they both agree and disagree. With everything. And the best way I could think of to put that into words is this: A Study of Opposites.
(Super hoping some doctor doesn’t read this and tell me these are all the exact symptoms of multiple personality disorder. I’M JUST THE ONE SHANNON. I just take in too many details about everything and I am too observant for simplicity. (Not you, Pops. You shush.))
What this means is that I generally like/prefer/feel both sides of any spectrum, equally. This does not mean I’m indecisive. Or that I love compromises or 50/50 splits. No. I am 100% positive that I like/want/need both choices. I want Opposite Things with 100% equal intensity.
That’s the easiest way I can think of to explain it, with choices or preferences, but this phenomenon isn’t limited to just opinions or wants. Pop culture, music, mottos, cars, traditions, technology. ANYTHING. There are a few things in my life that are firmly Just One Way (feminism, drummers, kindness, manners, London, LBGT equal rights, queso, and grammar, among other things) but pretty much everything else is subject to Opposites.
With music, I can be a giant snob OR dance around gleefully to Nelly in my kitchen. I was raised in the church and formally trained in choirs/band from fifth or sixth grade until the day I graduated from college. I know music. I know lyrics. So one Shan is snobby about talent and chords and harmony and pitches and I Knew This Band Before They Were Known. The other Shan recognizes a good beat and how ANY music can get inside your blood and your heart and make you move. Even if that beat is Fergie and the dancing is at a stoplight with your sister.
Music leads me to mention actual dancing. One Shan taught ballroom dancing for a bit in college, took some form of ballet and jazz when she was young, choreographed some cheer dances for her sister’s squad, and can move fairly purposefully to a good beat. The Other Shan has no center of gravity, trips frequently over air, always has at least one injury from clumsiness, and can’t follow a line dance with any type of seriousness.* (How I continued to excel in yoga is beyond me.)
*This may be due to line dancing, and not actual skill. I’m a Texan and I’ll wear boots, but I shan’t Scoot or Boogie. (I will and I HAVE.)
I love jewelry and accessories and killer heels and matching my eyeliner and nail polish to my outfit, but I also have a pair of sweats I stole from Husband and squishy Reef flip-flops that I would wear all day er’ryday, to all the places. ALL THE PLACES.
I want both zero children and allllllll the children because hello, sleeping in is amazing and margaritas are my JAM but also I could NAME OTHER HUMANS and seriously with their cute faces, I can’t even, I need one now, please and thank you.
I love designs that are black and white and sleek and modern and simple, but I also love shabby chic interiors and cozy spaces with squishy cushions and rainbows and too many pictures on the wall.
I think kids should be raised to be independent at very young ages, and I also think I would lock my kid inside my house and never let them out of my sight or walk home from school alone because the world is getting HELLA SCARIER with each passing day.
I think that chivalry (in ALL people/genders) is a thing that should keep happening and keep being important, but I think that nothing in the world that is broken can ever be fixed if we keep teaching men that women are the weaker sex.
I think technology is amazing and wonderful and awe-inspiring and it should be used all the time but I also think we should unplug everything and go have a picnic outside.
I love cuddling and spooning in bed and resting my head on Husband’s shoulder because I fit there just perfectly and I also think that one of these nights, I will smash our bed to pieces if he even breathes on me again because I do NOT ENJOY BODY CONTACT STOP IT.
I think books should be long and detailed, with complex themes and characterization and full of Serious Literature for Deep Thinking. But it is also really amazing to sit down with a fun and fluffy book, just because it makes you smile.
There are more examples, of course. But that’s pretty much the gist of it.
As you can imagine, I’m a bit much to live with. Send all your sweetest vibes to Husband. He going to need them if he crosses to my side of the bed tonight. Again.